how it feels when my mom passed away

I just realised that I had a draft dated back to a year and a half before.

Deciding to encourage myself to polish my writing skills by forcing myself to update on this ol dusty blog that might not have any readers anymore lol 

My mom passed away on the 8th of April, 2018.

The reason? Actually, I have an unpublished post in my Draft.

It is also the reason for my awareness of health and to not to take any meds/supplements without

consultations from the Drs.

My mom was 64 years old when she passed away. Its true that our death, caused, and time are unexpected and when it comes, there's nothing you can do except for asking dear God for strength.

Its almost a month since my mom, the love of my life passed away, and since then, I don't have much energy left in me, my body felt really weak and restless, my tastebud didn't cooperate with me too.

I can only taste salty, sweets, sour, spicy, and that of basic tastes, but no detail taste for foods.

I don't feel like working too, I've been spending my time in my room.

I just realize that, having too much of my own 'me time' is not for me.

Before she passed away, I never slept in my own room anymore (for almost 3 years?), I spent my time tending to her needs and taking care of her. I sometimes spent a few nights (longest was 2 weeks) in the hospital ward during her admission and sometimes wondered, how do I cope with this? How do I finish my master degree if its like this? But I managed somehow. Oh those what ifs that I often had before.

So went back and fro from KK to Ranau, sacrifices formal events just to be at home with her. I admit that I missed out a lot, but what are the meaning of me joining things here and there when my mom was suffering in pain at home. I'd rather spent my 24 hours, every day, with her. So, when she passes away, I felt grateful that I sacrificed my time and allocated them for her. My heart and my head felt really light, no regrets. And I am glad that I missed out a lot in social events because then, I'll feel miserable if I didn't. Now, if I were given a chance to spend more time with my mom, taking care and tend to her needs, I won't ever complain!

Too much of a 'me time' is no fun at all!

I missed my mom so much, I want to hear her voice so bad, I want to cook for her, feed her, bath her, do laundry for her, groceries shopping with her, listen to her nagging and complaining of how I am incapable of completing simple house chores nicely like she did. I would give up everything just to have all that right now. Oh how much I missed complaining about how heavy her shopping bags were whenever we went shopping.haha

I can still take me back to those days where weekends means waking up in the early morning and watch cartoons, feeling all safe knowing that my mom is in the kitchen. Where I was awoken by my mom's nag and complaints of how much I slept. Sometimes I can still hear her soft humming of her idk maybe fav songs, from the kitchen, travel through the living room, into my bedroom. the smells of her cooking although it was just a simple nasi goreng, or kuih tepung. Walking to the kitchen knowing that there is a cup of hot milo, made just for me. I can still imagine the warmness of my house during those days. I wonder when will I ever forget that feelings.

For now I am trying very hard to accept everything and keeping myself sane, though I'd say that I am hanging on a thread for I sometimes think irrationally when I had flashback of my time with my mom.

Regrets? I have many. But I know, there's nothing we can do.

Only prayers and faith in Allah, that we will all gather once again in heaven, jannah, paradise or whatever it is people called it. Soon in the afterlife. Insya'Allah. 

Moving On day 33

Its been 33 days since the moving on phase started. What I feel now? Is neutral.
It still hurts. But at least it is not that bad anymore. At least I can watch that person in a 'normal' kind of way now.

Less than 2 weeks, I believed things will turn cold again.
Before that time comes, I shall get prepared and be cold. Yeap. Be cold.
I know its cruel. But at least this time, I've shield myself from getting hurt.
I want to love myself ^_^

#bai

back to december.

Well..after a few days, I am back, again.haha

The heartbreak?
I'm over it now. Maybe not completely 100% moved on yet, but at least, I am OK.
Things become normal between us.
But if you ask, yes. I still hope I can go back to December and change everything -_-
The regret though~hmmm

anyway, its a bz life lately. But here I am, taking time and do stuff very slow.
Please pardon my slow-ness.lol
But I hope I can do all my work perfectly!

Pray for me!

#bye

I am super tired

What else I can say? I'm tired. Tired of thinking and wondering.lol
What should I do next?
Is this worth it?
Will I sit down crying and regret everything that I did now, 10 years later?

I just want a normal happy life.
I want my life back.
The life that don't have anyone in it except me and my family.
Can I just go back to December and change everything?
Maybe back then, I should just be indifferent towards everything and concentrate more on myself?

Oh how I wish I have magic power to turn everything into whatever I want and even turn back the time. I wish.

Enough said. Bye :D

#movingon #day11

Its been 11 days since I've got my heart broke.lol
and it hurts a lot the first week. But I managed to get a hold of myself.
Finally, last sunday, I've decided to let it all go and be free.

Monday, when he called, I don't feel anything superior like before anymore.
I am happier and felt free that he didn't affect me that much anymore.
Tuesday, which is today, about 20% of the old feelings came back.
But I refuse to accept the fact.

I am stronger than this.
Never again I will fall for you.
Never again I will hold any romantic feelings towards you.
Because every time the old feeling came creeping back inside of me, you always decided to be a jerk and do something that would eventually hurt me.

I guess, I am more free than before. From the feeling, your shadow and you.
So, I want to be happier and forgot about you as much as I can.
Lets just stay as friend then ^_^

Now, I want to focus on my study and fall in love with my work.
Cheers and good luck to me! :D

#movingonday11
#counting

Our heart is not that bright, that is why we have our brain.

I don't usually fall in love,
but when I do, it's with an asshole, jerk and unemotional guy who changed heart very quick.
That is why, I don't do the 'falling in love' stuff.
I don't want to lose my composition. As if I am cool enough with the 'composition' that I have now. lol
Because I know, the outcomes of that 'falling in love' stuff will not be pretty.
You know what you'll end up with when you're wasting your heart and love? Yes, pain and heartbreak.

You might experienced somewhat of a bursting heart, constant happiness and smile and you'll feel like everything move in a slow motion when you're in love. But during the heartbreak, you'll see everything in black and white, everything is just dull no matter what you do. Even your favorite sitcom isn't helping, your favorite food will taste like crap and you refuse to talk (even if you're a talkative type) to anyone, and you know what? You will feel like crying all the time. You heart feel like it was stabbed a million times and its like someone or something is constantly compressing your heart inside. Yes, it hurts like that. Actually, its hurt a lot.

You'll find yourself listening to Taylor Swift's song and other heartbroken song too.haha

So....I don't do the 'fall in love' stuff. I guess?
But I am just a human, I can't really control my feelings. So, instead of falling hard, I put a boundary to make sure that even if I fall, I won't fall too deep to climb my way back up. So that at least I can still see some light.

So, teenagers, girls, woman, when you want to fall, don't fall too deep. Cheers.

Good Morning by the way!

#comingback

Finally GRADUATED and Transformer: Age of Extinction. HAPPY RAMADHAN ^_^

Assalamualaikum....

well..since its been so long since my last update, I have to combine all the main topic into one sentences (refer: post title).

TRANSFORMER: AGE OF EXTINCTION

it's a one hell of a movie. 3 hours long. and its worth it!!!
OMG! I can actually watch it again 4-5 times. The movie was the best and fascinating. its simply wonderful.
I know its sounds like im exaggerating but IT IS worth the few ringgit malaysia and the 3 hours of your day.
I just Love the movie. Highly recommended *thumbs up*


GRADUATED.

There's these subject that have become my enemy since last semester and I repeat the paper.
It is even harder than my final year project (probably because I hate maths. Despite all the subject in my overall coursework are related to maths.lol), and I thought that I'm gonna lose to the subject again and unable to graduate from my Bachelor Degree. Fortunately, ALHAMDULILLAH, I have met my lecturer personally to asked for my grade, and yes, I passed it! Alhamdulillah once again, I can finally announce that I am going to GRADUATE from my 4 years long of Chemical Engineering course. and currently, I am jobless. lol

I was only left with a few option by madam besar a.k.a my mum.
After a lot of consideration and reflection made, I finally decided to take thing slowly and rest for a while. I mean, managing the household and such. It is actually tiring (physically, emotionally and mentally) but, this is a part of learning. Let's embrace it. (fyi, it is easier to do some Calculus calculation than managing the household. I warned you!)

and yes. It is sad thinking about finish studying and it comes to me that I am not going to go back to that place anymore. Even if I go back, it won't be the same anymore since I've said goodbye(s) to all my precious friend. It's nice knowing them and I kinda missed the already :')

May our path cross again one fine day, my friend :)
HAPPY RAMADHAN.

It's RAMADHAN and I never being this anticipated in celebrating Ramadhan my whole existence.
It's simply fun, exciting and I am looking forward for each day of it. I simply took it as a blessing from dear Allah :)

HAPPY RAMADHAN everyone. Eat and drink reasonably! :)

Ahhh! I just remembered that I wanted to share the story about my flight KL-KK few days ago.
But i think I'll just save it for later.


Later everyone. Good night :)

Internship ended. Going back to Pahang!

Assalamualaikum uols!

LI iols dah tamat secara official hari tu (6/7/2013) and iols rindu nak p kije.huhuhu
Lotsa things and knowledge that I gained during my internship period and the most important thing is that,
I learnt to cooperate and do things together with my teammates.
Usually, kalo d U, I like to do the project myself. I mean, I'll just take my part and do it alone without asking any of my team member's opinion. But no. During my internship, I learn to respect and take others opinion.
Thanks to my teammates and my supervisor, also to the other officer who really helped me through everything during my internship period.

For those yang akan ber-internship, I wish uols good luck and never be afraid of it.
Dulu iols sangat takut nak p intern + neves kemain. duk dak duk dak jantung. tapi bila sampai, everything is good. Just that, please be yourself but don't annoy others!hehe

Baiklah!
Lecture and classes supposed to start at 9/7/2013. and I still haven't go back and attend any class yet.kekeke
Due to some problem, I have to postponed my 'going back' thingy. I am so sure that there's no class/there's no important things going on in class.hehehe..banyak betul alasan.

Anyway!
I am going back tomorrow. Travelling alone AGAIN! *sigh*
It's boring and lonely. But actually travelling alone is like, more convenient..hehe

Its sad!
Its so sad to leave home!
Its even sadder to leave family!

Goodbye Sabah!
See you again in about...1 and a half month or so? lol


#nyte
# preparing my brain for this semester subject!

INTERNSHIP : 1 more week to go

Assalamualaikum y'all!

I've finished my 9th week of internship and there's 1 more week to go.
I'll summarize my internship experience after finish the 10th week.

My intern-mate, both from UMS had finish theirs and left me all alone next week.
I am sure that it's gonna be a looooong boring and lonely week for me.
Must find something to do for next week!*plotting plan*

1 more week to go, let's just concentrate on the final report writing!


Nyte peepz!

Mari bercuti sambil ber-LI

Assalamualaikum Pipol!

Right now, I am on my holiday. Unfortunately, I have this so-called LI or a.k.a Practical.

So, I've accepted the offer for LI at this Dairy farm at my hometown due to ease of accommodation (konon.sekali tgk hari2 sampai kerja 2 minit sebelum masa ofis.lol)

Finish my first week today. I mean yesterday(5/7/13). There's still 9 weeks to go! but TGIF! ^^

My first week?well...My supervisor put me in the Milking Process. You know..perah2 susu lembu. gila bapak freaked out sia mula2. first day, I didnt join the team. Joined them on second day, and I freaked out. The 1 hour and 30 minutes feel soooooo long. Thank God, third day until today, is awesome. I love the cow.haha

Sumber : Google (Milking Process) 

The people there was friendly. Super friendly indeed. and they took a good care of me this whole week.thx to them. I know that milking process doesn't have anything related to chemical engineering, and I know that, the big boss put us(chemical engineering student) on milking process on purpose! because he had stated it very clear that he wanted us to experience 'unusual' things.haha..very 'unusual'. Our main objective are actually to study the process flow, equipment, principle, chemical used & the cleaning process.

Next week, I was assigned to the Processing Room.

I promise I'll do well.haha

walaupun sebenarnya sy rasa ramai2 student yg LI, saya la yg paaaaaling relaks.yahuuu!

We often said, 'Bodoh seperti Lembu'
But they gave us milk.
The creamy milk that we love.
Now who's the stupid person drinking the milk from the stupid cow?haha
The cow di sana sangat berdisiplin. and I was surprise at first!

and the people are nice! although they like to play around a lot. But it's still entertaining.
and we often said, orang yang tidak berpendidikan tiada guna?
kalo semua orang berpendidikan, siapa yang mau perah susu lembu untuk kita?
kalo semua orang berpendidikan, siapa yang mau tanam padi untuk kita?
kalo semua orang berpendidikan, siapa yang mau tanam sayur untuk kita?
kalo semua orang berpendidikan, siapa yang mau jala/tangkap ikan untuk kita?
kalo semua orang berpendidikan, siapa yang mau buka bengkel dan buat kereta kita yang rosak?
kalo semua orang berpendidikan, siapa yang mau buat benda-benda basic untuk kita?

Kalo org yang berpendidikan tinggi ni, selalunya mau buat benda-benda yang bombastik & fantastik saja ba kan...memang jarang yang terfikir untuk buat benda2 kecil macam yg diatas tp lebih penting untuk kita.

Overall, the people are nice.
walaupun dorg tidak berpendidikan tinggi, malahan ada yang bersekolah setakat sampai darjah 6 saja, tapi they know more things than I do. I learned a lot from them. Bila berkerja sama dorg, rasa diri ini sangat rendah. thx for the one-week experience & tutor. Next week jumpa org baru & benda baru. Can't wait!

#BABYGOODNIGHT

It's the tiring part again.

Assalamualaikum uols.

its me again.haha

Its examen week, so study la (konon).
I've finish my 4th paper today, 1 more paper to go on Wed and I'm going home baby!
what can I say....semuaaaaaa subjek sem ni susah gila-gila.
walaupun ada hint, tp...hint la sgt kan...haha

anyway, its the end of my third year here.wohooo...habis sudah third year. next semester I'm gonna be Super Senior.hehehe
and, bila end of tahun 3, maksudnya, its time to change hostel, its time to simpan barang2 dalam stor. penat tau angkut2 barang turun bawah, susun dlm stor, dsbg.kalo sikit-sikit x pa juga...fyi, last year sy ada 6 barang(1 beg beeeeeesar, 5 kotak termasuk printer & 1 baldi). part yg paling hebat ialah, semua barang sy tu berat gila. even baldi pun berat sebab thats where I put my safety boot.kekeke

no..no..serious.sgt berat.
khamis ni mau pegi simpan barang. wish me luck guys! :'(

#bye third year!
#hello LI
#hello next sem
#next semester, its gonna be tougher :)

Warmer than coffee on cold winter day : The story of 'suspended' coffee

This story will warm you better than a coffee in a cold winter day:

"We enter a little coffeehouse with a friend of mine and give our order. While we're approaching our table two people come in and they go to the counter -

'Five coffees, please. Two of them for us and three suspended'

They pay for their order, take the two and leave. I ask my friend:

'What are those 'suspended' coffees?'

'Wait for it and you will see'

Some more people enter. Two girls ask for one coffee each, pay and go. The next order was for seven coffees and it was made by three lawyers - three for them and four 'suspended'.

While I still wonder what's the deal with those 'suspended' coffees I enjoy the sunny weather and the beautiful view towards the square in front of the café. Suddenly a man dressed in shabby clothes who looks like a beggar comes in through the door and kindly asks
'Do you have a suspended coffee ?'

It's simple - people pay in advance for a coffee meant for someone who can not afford a warm beverage. The tradition with the suspended coffees started in Naples, but it has spread all over the world and in some places you can order not only a suspended coffee, but also a sandwich or a whole meal."

#kopipes
#this story has been passed around on FB. So I don't know tho whom should I gave the credits.

Heart-warming story. It should be practiced in Malaysia too :')

Temuduga MEDSI

Assalamualaikum peeps.
I realize that there are too many 'hit' on my MEDSI related post.
Those are written few years ago.haha

I just realize that masa-masa macam ni ialah masa student2 lepasan STPM, Matrik and Diploma mencari tempat untuk menyambung study~so I decided to help.kekeke *help la sgt kan*

Here's the link to it :
Soalan bocor MEDSI
MEDSI thingy
PETUA-PETUI TEMUDUGA MEDSI (ni kira macam TIPS ketika temuduga la. tidak semestinya temuduga MEDSI sahaja)

and fortunately, I've failed that Interview. Also failed for Maktab interview. Yes...tiada rezeki jadi seorang pendidik..YET. *masih bercita-cita untuk menjadi pendidik. mungkin akan direalisasikan selepas tamat degree?:P*

And an addition to that SOALAN BOCOR MEDSI, some of my friends was asked to dance(dance the ethnic dance in Sabah) and sang some song(dusun song) by the interviewer. By this time, never-ever complaint! NO!

and some other friend of mine was asked to pretend to be a teacher(of the subject of your choice) and was given a topic based on the subject. You will be given marker pen and a whiteboard. So be wise with the equipment given.

Last but not least, Pray.
You pass or fail, no one cares.
God must have something better for you if you fail, have faith! :)

and you know what, I have a pile of task to be done. night! ;)

Malindo Air Malaysia

Assalamualaikum peeps.

Just got back from Sabah below the wind and a lot of project, assignment, task, presentation(and maybe quiz & test) are waiting for me. yippie! I've read a famous blogger's blog about Malindo Air, where he only stated the best about Malindo, and I feel kinda cheated.haha (I'll continue about this later. It's not a VERY BIG deal anyway)

So I've decided to try Malindo, depart from KK to KL. I purchased the tickets online, since there's only 3 flight to KL can be choose, I decided to take the earliest flight, which is 11 a.m (stated online). I reached the airport(it depart from KKIA(T1) from KK and landed at KLIA) at 10.05a.m and rushing for check-in. 

When I asked the pacik tukang scan beg about my bag, he said the gate was closed. Ok, acceptable. The only thing that is unacceptable is that, there's a poster in front of the counter, it stated that luggage must be checked-in 3 HOURS BEFORE DEPARTURE??? o.O

So I proceed to the check-in counter to get my boarding pass since I can just bring my bag as hand carry items when the Miss at the counter inform me that the gate has closed and I cannot take the flight. I still have 40mins before 11a.m at that time. When I tell her that my flight was at 11a.m(according to the e-ticket that), she inform me that Malindo DID NOT HAVE ANY FLIGHT FROM KK-KL AT 11A.M they only have a flight at 10.30 A.M for morning..  and I was like, 'so, apa la ni kena tulis di itinerary?' and her face changed when she take a look at my itinerary and contact someone via walkie talkie. So I was allowed to go on-board. Thanks kepada macik yg bagi laluan kepada sy untuk scan hand luggage yg sy bawa, juga kepada pacik2 & abg2 sekuriti yg tidak tahan2 sy dan minta macam2.hehehe

Upon my arrival at the gate where I was supposed to board the plane, there are still a lot of people Q-ing outside. and it's 8 minutes past 10.30 am(the time where the plane was supposed to depart) that time. and the services of ripping(hantam ja ba ayat) the passenger's tickets are quite lousy I can say. Some of the pacik2 pun sampai marah2 and are having a bad mood due to their service & unclear announcement.

But inside the plane, 

 We can do this. We can simply connect our USB to the tablets provided. The tablets are more touch sensitive than the one in Malaysia Airlines. Which is good, but...please refer below.

Pastu dalam plane pun, pramugari semua baik2 dan peramah. Kalo lelaki lagi la suka, suda la pramugari-pramugari dia lawa-lawa pastu pakai pun siksi-siksi belaka.kekeke

BEST :
1- Spacious. Jarak antara kerusi sgt luas berbanding airlines di Malaysia yang lain. This one is the best!
2- F.A semua peramah & baik. Hospitality is number 1 you know!hehehe
3- Free food. Sandwich and mineral water. Sila berterima kasih sebab kena bagi free food. suda la tiket murah gila :)
4- Comfortable seats.

NOT BEST :
1- Lousy management before boarding into the plane.
2- I really have a big problem about the 'LUGGAGE CHECK-IN 3 HOURS BEFORE DEPARTURE' thingy. Sometimes, all you want is not a cheap price, sometimes, it's all about keselesaan.
3- Please, if your flight was at 10.30, change the time in your flight schedule online. It'll confuse people :-/
4- Food. I know it's free. I don't actually mind it, THIS TIME. because I am not that hungry. But it'll be better if the airline provide(or sell) a variety of food selection.
5- Limited entertainment selection. There's only like 14 movies in there if I'm not mistaken? :-/

The above is my opinion about Malindo Air. It is cheap, but cheap is not everything. and I know it's new. So bear with it for a while.hehe

I might still fly with Malindo.. but bak kata Yunalis Zarai (Yuna), I choose product that I trust...
So I prefer Malaysia Airlines, mahal tapi boleh komplen banyak-banyak dan komplen itu dilayan walaupun ada sesetengah worker yg marah-marah atau poirodus mau melayan. But hel* I care.kekeke

p.s.I was actually watching Malindo logo for a long time during the journey and find it funny. Lion with a wing. how cute! :P

Gold and Diamond boy!

Haloo poopies!

I mean peeps!hehehe

The picture? try Google 'Gold and Diamond boy' and you'll see.
So I am back at my hostel. Back at my University and back
for more lecture & classes and lab....and drama -_-

Since I haven't done any of my Project & Assignment during the midsem break, I am pretty sure that I have to spend a few days cramming my head to finish 'em. But he** I care. Yang penting saya happy di rumah last week.haha and my mom managed to gain 5kg's under my supervision.wohoo (Y)

The older you are, the more you will be attracted to GOLD.
In my case, YES. I am kind of interested in gold. Am I old? -_-
Last year, my mom gave me gold necklace walaupun I've stated it
loud and clear that I don't like gold and I can't tolerate with accessories.

But since it is free, why not kan? Then I try to put it on for a week, a month and now a few months passes. It turns out that it is not that I can't tolerate with accessories, It's just that I'm allergic to silver(silver yang dijual merata & murah). My skin will show the sign of 'eroded'(macam besi pula kan kulit saya.haha), rashes and burnt! But when I started pakai this gold thingies, I didn't experience that skin problem anymore. and I realize that gold and my skin are a perfect match.lalalalalalalalala

and last week, I asked for another gold accessories. I was just joking actually...but my mom took it seriously and buy one for me.

My point here is, I am not trying to show off my gold2 thingy. But, I, and everyone that is fortunate enough to be able to buy and have anything we wanted(well, not anything la..tp better than the others) should be more grateful for what GOD has blessed us with. Look at your surrounding, how many people are as fortunate as you are. Do not complaint when your parent's couldn't afford to buy a brand new Iphone 5 or Iphone 5S for you. Because those yang masih pakai henfon Nokia 3310 sebab tidak mampu beli henfon yang lagi bagus dari itu pun tidak komplen2 macam kita :)

I am so grateful that I am blessed with what I have now. Me, I can eat and get whatever I want even though it is in the middle or end of the months or semester and most of the other student, di mana biasanya wang elaun atau PTPTN pelajar sudah habis, terpaksa berjimat cermat dan ikat perut. I am grateful. Thanks Allah :')

I know that many are more fortunate than me. But I am happy for what I have now :)

Dear fortunate people,
Be grateful.
Avoid vanity.
Be good to other.
Live happy.
Stop comparing & complaining.
Help & care the unfortunate.

GOD gave you what you have for a reason.
The more you give, the more you'll gain.
toodles!

p.s.post yang merapu -_-
#nyte!

Mentally(retarded) exhausted.

Greetings peeps!

Have you tried mentally exhausted before?
Yes. It is not a food and does not taste good either.

I am so very tired today!

It might be due to no-stop Test coming. I have a test on last Thursday(the first test), I have another Test on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday this week. Plus, a quiz on Monday evening. pheww~ I am so glad that it all ended(I wish it all ended very well too, aminnn).

Although my face may look calm and cool for the test, inside, I almost crumble and give up. Thank God I didn't. haha

Even my friend was afraid looking at my face in the last class just now. We're having trouble calculating this and that. and our lecturer keep on giving us his answer which is different than our answer. It's frustrating you know!

I am so tired and needed sleep right now, walaupun I've slept more than 7 hours today.haha

There's a burger on my left on keropok lekor on my right, so why don't we go for a movie or 2, right?

When I Google image for 'Mentally Exhausted', this oppa came out. Mucho gusto! :D

#movie!

Don't Be a Permanent Idiot

Kopipes from Aemy Nadira from Anonymous.

This entry is copied from a blog in the comments part:

Anonymous said...Friends, allow me a moment of indulgence to clear the foul stench of stupidity among people. The case in LD is nothing new to us Sabahans. In 90s, they abruptly came to the shore at Semporna and immediately bombed the police stations, then went amuck at the town. 

They're smart people, some came through the sea, rose from mangrove area and lived 4 to 6 months before started to mingle with the locals and married them. The Tausugs in LD now didn't came all at once, instead they came in batches, with helps from their families in the village. Trust me, they have been there at least 2 to 3 months until the groups become complete, then they decide that it's time to wage war.

If you don't understand the rules of engagement, then don't try to be smart by saying the government is weak, soggy, whatsoever. Police would need to move 1st as they're trained as negotiators, while armies are the last resort as they will not spare anyone once commanded.

They need time to ensure all the locals are out of the village and then cut their food and finance sources, hoping the Tausugs will surrender. That's our rules of engagement. We're not barbaric stoic like the American soldiers.  So don't insult or complain about everyone that involves in LD. It's not easy. You don't know what does it feel like to be in a gunfight situation. Those who went in and died knew that they might not come back alive, as it was their vow when inducted to the force. 

So please, learn from history and read more. Make sure your mouth and brain go on the same frequency, or in other harsh words, don't be a permanent idiot.
Thank you for your moment.

#PrayforSabah

I am Forever Alone

Assalamualaikum :)

People that have my Facebook, Twitter and Instagram might always seen me uploading the picture of my pet cat (pet dog pun ada, tp blum pernah upload. will upload 'em very soon :P) and must be wondering, 'why the he** is she always uploading those pet of hers picture?' when other people usually upload their family, boyfriend, friends and their own picture.

Let me confess, at home, everyone was busy working. During holiday, I go home, but I am all alone, staying at home with all the pet. I have no one to talk to (but I actually talked to my pet) and that is why you'll find me very silent. I am a very silent person, unless you're a friend of mine, or a crazy person. If you are those stated, then I will be the one who's talking bla bla bla...

Walaupun selalu sendiri di rumah, I am still want to go back home!biar la lonely2, yang penting happy!
Kesian kan hidup saya? I have no one to talk to, I usually cooked and have lunch alone, tengok TV pun sendiri. But that doesn't change my relationship with my family. When they come home, we will have this very looooong conversation, fighting about the show on TV and taking notes of their comment on the food that I cook.

Still wondering why I kept on posting my pet pictures on Fb, twitter & Insta?

#nyte

Human

Assalamualaikum.

A proper introduction this time.hehehe

Some people are obsessed with being skinny, have a white flawless glowing skin and bla3 so that they will look perfectly-perfect all the time, especially to the people around them.

Certain people wasted hundred or thousand ringgit every month, just for those products that they believed are able to grant their wishes to be what I called 'perfectly-perfect'.

Woman? Oh..of course not. These days, even man, a real man, pun beli juga produk-produk kecantikan ni.

Yang paling popular sekarang ialag Beutskin Essence. Why am I always talking about these stuff anyway?haha

mungkin sebab ramai kawan-kawan yang consume ini barang. Yes.Memang berhasil. Jadi putih, etc2...tapi, it'll cost you a few thousand because the effect can only be seen after using the product for at least 2 months if I'm not mistaken.

What encourage me to write about this kind of stuff is that, I've seen a lot of people bought Slimming Pill. Slimming pill actually works. But only for those under the observation of the doctor and only for those with *cough* diabetes *cough*. Before taking the pills, everything includes allergy, health history & etc2 were taken into consideration.

But, what about those yang beli pil pelangsing di gerai-gerai atau kedai jual jamu? or worst, online?

Si penjual tu pun apalagi kan, mestila jual temberang dia juga. Mau kasi laku jualan.

And last 2 weeks, during the vacation with my family in Tawau, I playfully asked the mak cik yang jual-jual di gerai yang berdekatan dgn tempat saya shopping, 'mak cik, sy mau beli ubat kurus' and the makcik 'shhh' me. She said, 'jangan cakap kuat-kuat' samsil ambil galah & jolok-jolok di upper part gerai dia. When I ask why, she simply answered this, 'ubat-ubat ni tidak melalui kerajaan, kena seludup saja'. What she meants by kerajaan is KKM and of course la taxes.hehe

What surprised me more is that, when she showed the 'ubat kurus' that she hide, one of them was LAMI.

Yes people, go and search about this LAMI pill on Google.hehe

I've read once about Lami. It's poisonous and very-very dangerous. A lot of death was recorded due to consuming LAMI. Jadi jangan la try. If you're that desperate to look kurus, just go and try, but don't regret it later :(  Memang tidakla saya beli kan..

So, untuk menjaga hati makcik tadi, saya belilah gloss yang dia jual. Dari Indon kononnya.hehehe

Enough with ubat kurus thingy.

Ada pula yang sanggup habiskan beribu-riban untuk membeli produk kecantikan wajah. SK-II contohnya?

memang tidak salah la, it's your money, not mine.haha

I'm just talking & mentioning here~

People,*muka bajet-bajet penceramah* and myself.

Why do you have to care about what other people say or MIGHT say about you?

If they called you 'ugly', called them 'super-ugly'. Konfem menangis-nangis tu belari.

Because only orang yang perasan cantik yang sanggup panggil orang lain 'ugly' dan orang yang perasan cantik itu sebenarnya tidak berkeyakinan diri! Hence, bila orang panggil dia 'ugly' dia akan menangis.hahaha

boleh ka buat assumption macam tu? :P

Who are you to judge?
err...I am not encouraging anyone to be gay, emo and athiest, what I'm trying to say here is that,
It doesn't matter who you are, what you are, how you look like, at the end of the day, we are human. We eat, we sleep and we want to love and to be loved.

Just smile and held your head up high! :)

#nite

Wonderful Holiday

Assalamualaikum peeps :)

Sudah hampir satu bulan saya bercuti (cuti sem) and a lot of things had happened. Happy stuff mostly :)

First of all, umur saya berganjak lebih tua this Feb. I am 22 yo already. I know it sound old, but I am forever young :P

and then, I owned a few very cute kittens. sangat comel dan adorable!

walaupun suda kena booking untuk adoption, but at least I got the chance untuk bermanja-manja & bermain bersama mereka :3

After that, my family (my mum, me & my siblings, in-law, niece and nephew) having a vacation(can I call it vacation? it is more like a trip) for 3 days and 2 nights to Tawau. I never expected it would be that good. It's nice having your close family around. Even if you're not that close with them. But it feels good anyway :)

 My big family. and everyone is BIG :P

I managed to hangout with some of my besties. This guy right here, I haven't met him for..like..3 years maybe?

and those girls on my left, was my long lost girlfriends. I haven't meet them for almost 2 to 3 years. and damn, I missed them so much.

Although it's been a while since we hangout together, but it didn't feel awkward. It's just comfortable and I can be me and they're still them that I know :)

and finally, exam result is out.
I am thankful with the result. It is worth the suffering. walaupun sebenarnya turun sikit compared to last semester's GPA. No dissapointment. Just that, saya kurang berpuas hati dengan result sesetengah orang yang...... owh..let's just forget about it. Allah know the best! :)

Let's keep working hard for the future!
p.s.I hadn't renew my driving lisence, I hadn't had the chance to visit the dentist and...apa lagi?

3 more days, I am going back to the land of war. isk :(
Dear Allah, please guide me through the dark and hard part. amin...