The Person I've become.

masa kecil-kecil dulu, masa bapa(my late father) baru meninggal dunia,

i've set my mind to be a doctor. why?

Because, actually I blame those doctor that cannot save my father and those who made my father die. I want a revenge! (fikiran budak-budak..i know)

Semangat berkobar-kobar mau jadi Doctor tu I kept till i'm 13. after that, I still wanted to be a Doctor. but not with the determination like I used to have before..

At 16, I've made my decision and tells my mom that,

saya : mak, saya tidak mau jadi doktor. bolehka?

(mom, i don't want to be a doctor. Can I?)

mama : Jadi ko mau jadi apalah?

(so, what do you wanted to be?)

saya : sy mau jadi guru saja la..macam bapa..boleh?

(I wanted to be a teacher. Like father..can I?)

mama : emm..mana-mana kau sajalah.jadi guru pun bagus bah tu. tidak penat macam doktor.

(It's all up to you. teacher was a good option. so you won't be so tired like a doctor does)

p.s.perbualan macam anak 3-4 tahun dengan ibunya. tapi sila ignore:P

Form 4 & 5 tu memang enjoy gila-gila la.

maksud enjoy : tidak study dengan struggle.

sebab saya ingat senang saja mau jadi cikgu. saya ingat tidak payah high result

Alhamdulillah...

lepas SPM, I manage to enter Matriculation

dengan result yang nyawa-nyawa ikan tuh..

Plus.Minus, saya masuk hayat. peluang jadi doktor kembali?

malangnya saya memang tidak berminat sudah mahu jadi doktor.

dan sebenarnya memang tidak mampu mau dapat result yang layak untuk ambil Medic :P

so di matrik, I follow the flow.... I didn't set any dreams and ambition.

but to be true, masa mula-mula masuk matrik, I have no confidence to be able to continue studying there. I really thought that I'll be kicked-out from there~ So, as a precaution, I've made an application~UiTM~Diploma Kejuruteraan Kimia. And I actually managed to get the offer~ but I rejected it..

after matriculation ended, I've once again apply for Degree in Education and Maktab..

and AGAIN...I am rejected:P

I assumed that saya TIADA rezeki mau jadi Cikgu..sorry father~

but you never ask me to be any of the above...

so I assume that all you wanted from me is giving my very best on everything!

and I did try!

and look at where I am now?

Jurutera.. and like what I've said before, It's never been in the list..

and it came to me by surprise...

padahal kalo pasal maths2 ni sy memang xtau apa +.+

to mom, I am very sorry for turning down my very first ambition

-> to be a Doctor.

you're such a wonderful mom.. support me for everything that I wanted.

and I am very sorry that I've become someone that is never in your list too..

I just wish that, one fine day I will be able to make you happy and proud of me..amin...

to myself,

Don't you realize how's God have been so nice to you?

You never really struggle or do your very best at anything.

Yet, HE still give you the chance.