Life become so hard when we get older

Maybe it's my fault for always acting that way.
But, have you ever realized of all the things that you've done to me?
Isn't I am just trying to reciprocate the things that you did to me?
I'm getting tired.

I've been giving you chances after chances.
I even forget and cancel about moving on after all those thing that you've done to me.
After you hurt me that bad. I tried to forgive and waved it off so that we can always start over.
Yet, every week, things only ended up the same. I don't know about you.
But things sure is taking it's toll on me.
I've messed up with my life, ignoring my friends and family. Just to entertain you and to make sure you'd feel wanted.

Now, I don't know what happened to us.
I don't know where'd I done wrong this time.
Should I always be the one who'll raise the white flag and apologizing?

I could've leave and be with other people who'd ready to offer me comfort, be my best listener and adviser. Yet, I choose to stay because I'm a loyal person.
Unlike you who'd just run away and hurt me whenever we stumbled upon some rock.
It really is tiring. It hurt so bad this time, just like before.

So...I can say that I am currently stranded between staying or leaving.
I've been trying to be more understanding.
I know you're busy with your works. I don't mind that at all.
I know you need your own space to be with your friends, just like I did.
But still, I am not good enough. And I don't know where did I've done wrong in this?
I've been trying to figured out my fault, but I can't.

Maybe our relationship shouldn't exist after all.
Maybe we weren't meant to be with each other.
Maybe we're not good enough for each other.
Maybe we shouldn't even try fixing us anymore?

My good friend asked me to 'move on' for good and value myself first.
He asked me to run away from a jerk like you.
So, if, in case you're reading this like you usually did back then before I fall head over heel for you, I'd like you to know that I want to try to end our relationship once and for all. I wan't you to vanish from my life just like what you usually did every week. But this time, I want you to gone forever. Don't ever try to reach me when you're bored or needed consolation or if, by any chance, missed me.
Just go and vanish. GO!

#Iwanttomoveonsobad #GODgivemecourage #hopingforamiracle